Finding My Soul

Back on the first of the month, I received an interesting text message from my landlord. "Hey guys. I need you all to sit down and have a house meeting about the current situation. I have spoken to you all and a decision must be made. I have heard different sides of the story and so now it is up to you all to decide who leaves. Please let me know what you decide. Thank you for understanding." I was a little confused and wasn't sure what was going on. Then, I received another text. "About the last text... There is drama between J and R, and I anticipate one of them will be leaving. Just wanted to let you know what was going on." Since I was on vacation for an entire month, I was wondering what had happened between the two. I began to wonder about this house meeting and thought about voting people out of the house like one of those reality shows. Of course, since I had been having issues with R, I had been thinking of all the things that irritate me about him living in the house to vote him out. He is the guy that I share the bathroom with who doesn't ever help clean it, he doesn't help with any of the household chores, he leaves his dirty dishes in the sink, and he's just dirty. I've seen both of them in passing and engaged with them in small talk, but I stayed in my room most of the time when I got back from trip.

Earlier today, R just happened to be in the living room on his computer when I went to get my laundry out of the dryer. He asked me about my vacation and I told him it was fine. He started talking to me about this Filipino girl that he met and told her about me going to the Philippines. I thought that it was kind of weird that he would be bringing me up in a conversation especially with a girl I don't even know. He knows that I'm gay. Anyway, I just nodded and proceeded on up to my room after gathering all of my clothes. He started to tell me about the situation with our other roommate. I guess J has been trying to get me kicked out of the house. I was very shocked to hear that because I thought I had a better relationship with him than R. After R talked to him more, he found out the reason J wanted me to get kicked out of the house is so that R can move into my room and J would take over R's room to use as his office. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. R didn't believe that what J was doing was right, so he said that he was against it. He said that I never did anything wrong to deserve that. He said that I was a nice guy and that I never bothered them. I was surprised to hear this coming out of his mouth especially since he was kind of a jerk when Thomas was staying with me.

Anyway, apparently there is more. Since R wasn't going for it, J went to the landlord and started complaining about R telling her that he smokes weed too much. Well the landlord called R about it and found out about what he said. Now it has become this huge thing. R and J don't even say anything to each other anymore. To be honest, I am not sure who to believe, but I don't know too much about J. With what R said about me, I was surprised to hear the nice things that he said about me. I've only heard R's story, but J never even said anything to me when he saw me. He only asked about my holiday and I told him. I'm not sure what's going to happen, but someone is leaving. R said that J may be leaving or that he may be leaving, but all I know is that I'm not really sure what to think of it all. I feel hurt though more than anything that anyone would do that, but I guess you can't really trust people you don't really know. I'm just as surprised that the situation involves me even when I wasn't around. This situation has made things any easier for me. I wish I knew what to do with my life. I'm so lost right now that all I want to do is sleep.