Finding My Soul

Yesterday, I spent some time with my friend Marla. I hadn't seen or talked to her in over a year. She was at the King Tut exhibit at Deyoung Museum in Golden Gate park. When I headed over there, there were so many people. I was getting lost trying to find which garden they were at. I didn't realize there were so many gardens there. Goodness gracious, I really need to get out more. Anyway, I picked them up and headed to Ocean Beach. We walked down the beach and caught up each other with our lives. I told her about quitting my job and she was very happy for me. To put it in her own words, "It was about time." She was right, but I did have to do it on my own and figure it out for myself. I caught her up with me, she caught me up with her, Mike caught me up with him. We caught up a lot with each other and the great part of it all was that we are happy. It was so great to see Marla so happy. She was smiling a lot which is a lot different since the last time I saw her. It's a great thing. I think we walked down to Noriega and then headed back up stopping by Java Beach for coffee before walking back to my car.

We hung out staring out at the beautiful view of the ocean with the sun in the background. It was beautiful. We stayed there for a while and chatted about random stuff before we went to my house for them to checkout. I showed them around the house and then to my room. After a while, we headed out for dinner. Originally I had planned to take them to Marni Thai for dinner, but it was a bit out of their price range since they were on a budget. They wanted something more like Applebee's. I suggested Olive Garden. So, we headed over there. I took the Great Highway, but it took forever. Marla was freaking out because of the crazy drivers her in the City. A car drove right in front of me. Idiot! Anyway, I found some parking and just parked. It was a bit further away, but not a problem. I checked in and there was a 25 to 45 minute wait for tables. It wasn't a big deal since I was starving. We chatted a bit more until we were seated.

Our waiter's name was Joshua that was on his name tag, but he introduced himself as Josh. He offered a sample of Castello del Poggio Moscato wine and I "LOVED" it. It was so good. We talked about random stuff. I had my Zupa Toscana, the soup that I just adore. For the entree, I had Pork Milanese with spinach and cheese tortellini. It was so good. Marla talked about another wine that she loved. She asked Josh if I can have a sample of it. It was called Principato Rosato. He brought it over and it was good. I'm not much of a wine person since I'm still trying to get into it, but I'm glad that I got to taste these. While we waited for our check, Marla was telling me about this show she watched on VH1 called the top 100 funniest pranks. When she was telling me the top 4 that she was able to see, I was dying of laughter. I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard that I cried. It was such a great time. As dinner started to end, we asked for our check. Josh was a pretty good waiter, so I tipped him well. He always had a smile on his face and was very pleasant to us. After dinner, I drove them to the Embarcadero BART station. It was great to see them both. I told Marla that the one thing that I noticed about her was how much she smiled. It made me happy to see her so happy and I'm glad to finally see that for her. I'm very happy for her. Today was definitely a good day.

Will had called me up last night asking me to meet up with him. So at around 6:30pm I had got ready and headed out the door. I called him up as soon as I pulled up to his house. It turns out that I was supposed to meet him up in the Castro. My goodness, there has to be a better way to communicate out here. People just cannot hear me where I live or maybe I can't hear them. Anyway, reception sucks out here. It wasn't too much of a big deal, at least not until I get to the Castro. It's 7pm and there is no place to park. I practically drove around for an hour trying to find parking in the Castro. It was ridiculous. I was totally getting irritated. Eventually I found a parking spot. It was two blocks away from the Castro and I didn't have to worry about some nutbag hitting my car on the right side since it was a driveway. Score!

Anywho, I headed over to the corner of Market and Castro in front of Diesel where I usually meet up Will. I call him up, but he didn't answer. I thought that was kind of weird. I decided to text him and he ends up calling me a few minutes later. It turns out he was meeting up with his friends to retrieve the amp that he was borrowing. He called me back and told me he was in front of the theater. I started heading over to the theater and saw him talking on his phone as I was crossing the street. It's uncanny how I can pick him out of a crowd especially now that I don't have 20/15 vision anymore or so I think. I haven't been checked out in over a decade now. Eek! I really should get that done. I finally meet up with him and we head over to the car to put away the amp.

At this point, I really wanted to do something. Especially with the whole ordeal with the parking situation and all. I wanted to take advantage of my parking spot and do something on a Friday night. Will discussed options of what we were going to do and kept asking me what I wanted to do. To be honest, I really didn't care. The fact that I was out, on a Friday night for that matter, okay!!!!!!! Anyway, I just said f' it dude, let's just be spontaneous and do whatever. So that's exactly what we did. He took me to the Midnight Sun which is a bar that I have never been to. And for the first time, I didn't get carded. How awesome is that? When we get it, the place was packed. Will told me that it was Bear weekend or something like that. So, all the bears are out. I never experienced it, so why the heck not. The bar wasn't was I thought I had imagined it. I knew that it was like a video bar and stuff, at least that's what I had heard through word of mouth. I always imagined it to be dark like the other bars, but it was pretty well lit.

I met Will's friend Ben which happened to be celebrating his birthday that day. He's cute. What I liked about him was his smile. He has a great smile which instantly attracted me to him. Not only that, he just had this aura about him. He's a really sweet guy. Will bought me my first two drinks since it was two for one. At this point, I had totally forgotten that I hadn't eaten anything since lunch which probably wasn't such a good idea. I down the first drink pretty fast and worked on my second one. Ben introduced me to his friend Mohammed who was cute too. I actually met a few other people, but I don't remember their names. I'm surprised that I remembered Ben and Mohammed. I actually liked the bar. The people are a lot nicer. The guy next to me talked to me for a bit which is unusual. People usually don't talk to me at bars. They usually have attitude like they are the sh*t or something. Oh... the gays. Anywho, for the first time I didn't feel like that there. I was actually comfortable. Then again, it could've been the alcohol. I don't know how many drinks I had total, but I must have had at least six there because people bought me drinks. Uncanny how that works. To get drunk without spending your own money. That's genius.

After a while, we headed over to Badlands with Ben. I'm not sure how exactly we got there because I really don't remember that part. I'm sure we walked though. I don't even remember being carded going into Badlands and I ALWAYS get carded there. I don't even know if I drank there at all. I do remember dancing however. I LOVE dancing. I'm so glad that I have friends that dance. Not many of my friends care to dance and it makes me sad. I don't know what else to say because all I can remember is dancing and I was having so much fun dancing. I didn't give a crap about any guy or being judged by some queen or twink. I was just having so much fun dancing whether it was with Will, Ben, and even myself. Thank goodness for the dancing because I started to sober up a bit. Will had to go to work the next day so we left the bar at some point. At what time I had no idea. We did stop by the pizza place and had a slice of pizza. OMG, we were both so drunk. After having the pizza and several cups of water, I just couldn't do it anymore. I felt like I wanted to throw up and I do NOT want to throw up.

We headed back to my car and I started to feel a little bit better and comfortable driving. I still had that feeling of throwing up. I took the back roads home and almost feel asleep on the road to Will's house. I dropped him off and headed home. Of course, there was no where to park, so I just parked in front of the house blocking the driveway on the street. OMG, my head hurt so bad. I wanted to puke so bad. I went up to my room, stripped off all of my clothes, drank a little bit of water and passed out on my bed. I woke up this morning the biggest hangover ever. If I had to rate it, it would be the second worst hangover I've ever had. Number one being the day after I got to Anaheim for Gayday. Let's just say, I almost missed out on an entire day at Disneyland. I didn't get to go to the park until 3pm. Anyway, I drank a lot more water and laid down for a while. I didn't start feeling better until I cooked and ate breakfast. Last night was definitely an interesting night.

Finally I received my income tax return refund. I was so excited I pretty much went on a shopping spree because I deserve it. I took myself to Jollibee for breakfast because I was craving garlic fried rice and corned beef. That is after stopping by FedEx Kinko's (umm... excuse me... FedEx Office) to see about getting something notarized, but of course they didn't offer those type of services at this particular one that I went to. Then, I went to fill up an other was very empty gas tank for my car at the nearest and cheapest Chevron gas station in the City. I headed over to Best Buy to get the latest movies that came out on the DVD this past Tuesday. I bought Couples Retreat, The Time Traveler's Wife, and Stargate Universe. I was tempted to get the Transformers: Season 2, Volume 2, but the box looked like crap and I like my things looking nice. If anything is going to look like crap, it is going to be because I did it myself.

I had called up my hair stylist, Jose about getting a haircut. I needed someone to fix the disaster that I did two weeks ago with my hair. Anyway, we set up a time and I headed over to the Castro. It took me a while to look for parking. Fortunately, it didn't take me to long before I found a parking spot just a block away from the hair salon. Since my appointment wasn't for a half hour, I headed over to the Body Shop for some body wash that I ran out of. I even purchased a back brush or whatever it's called to reach the part of my back that needs attention. After I had finished purchasing my items, I headed over to the hair salon. I got stopped by a guy wanting me to make a donation to Greenpeace. Don't get me wrong. I love my planet and would love to do anything to support it, but I just felt uncomfortable writing down my account information. Not only that, while the guy was talking to me, I could easily see the guys inside the restaurant behind him looking at me. I felt like I was a guinea pig or something. I asked him if I could do it online. He said that I could, but he just wouldn't get paid for the transaction. I felt bad, but I just wasn't comfortable with it. I asked him to let me think about it. I had to get going anyway because I was going to be late with my appointment.

I made to the hair salon on time and fortunately Jose was still cutting someone's hair when I got there. The guy getting his haircut said hi. I smiled and responded back. I picked up a magazine to skim through while I waited. I thought the guy getting his haircut was gay. He was an older gentleman who looked cute. It turns out he is married. My goodness, I need to get better with my gaydar. It's totally non-existent at this point. Eventually, Jose finished the guy and it was my turn. It's been a long time since I talked to Jose. I had made attempted to setup appointments with him twice last month and both times he was out of town. Basically, we had a lot to catch up on. Hair stylist are great to talk to and Jose is pretty cool. He saw the disaster of a haircut that I did to myself and asked me why I didn't go to him sooner. I told him the reason and he said that I could have paid him back. Eh... shoulda, coulda, woulda right? Anyway, it was nice to finally have a decent haircut. It wasn't perfect, but it was so much than what I could have done with it. After it was all done, I paid him with the usual tip and thanked him for cutting my hair.

I left the salon and headed over to the book store just to check out what they have. On my way there, there was girl trying to talk to me about Greenpeace too, but I told her that I already talked to the other guy. Her response was, you haven't talked to me. I politely responded with a thank you and waited to cross the street. I got to the bookstore and started looking around. I was thinking of purchasing a magazine, but then I decided against it. I wanted to get the next book in the Wicked series, but they didn't have it. Oh well. I trekked back up to my car and went to get some lunch at the mall. I went to this chicken place at Stonestown that has like really, really good chicken strips. They are thick pieces breaded and fried to perfection served with a side of shoestring potato fries and a piece of grilled toast. I was surprised that I couldn't finish it all. I usually eat everything. I boxed it up and took the rest home.

Since I just got paid, I need to do some desperate grocery shopping. I was so sick and tired of eating spam and vienna sausages with rice for the past week. I had been grocery shopping since the third week of January, so I really needed to do this. Before I went to Trader Joe's, I stopped by Border's bookstore to look for a cookbook. The moment I walked in there, I just roamed around. I'm so used to the Barnes & Noble bookstore layout that I was practically getting lost trying to locate the recipe books. I really didn't want to spend too much on a cookbook. I just wanted a starter recipe book. I went to the bargain section and rummaged through the plethora of books laid around in really no particular order. Goodness gracious. It's a disaster, but I wasn't in the mood to be re-arranging books. Anyway, I really couldn't find anything that I liked. I seriously don't know what I was really looking for. I just wanted something that would enable to me cook simple entrees and vegetables to improve my food intake, but some the recipes were way out there. I wasn't very satisfied with their selection, so I headed out and headed over to the Trader Joe's next door.

I purchased some healthy alternatives from vegetables to cheeses and frozen food at Trader Joe's. I was there for quite a while. I had completely filled my reusable bag and started carrying other items under my arm. I think I should purchase another one. Anyway, the girl at the checkout was rather nice. She was able to put it all in the bag. It was fantastic. I stopped by the post office to get my mail and headed over to the Safeway on the way to my house on Noriega. I had to stop by because not only did I forget to purchase some items, but Safeway is the only place that has lactose free milk. Thank goodness for that. After that I headed home and almost got into an accident with a motorcycle in front of my house. I really had no idea. All I know is that I turned into a driveway and this motorcycle had come out of nowhere. The motorcyclist stopped and stared me down. I just looked at him like wtf? Motorcyclist think they are all bad and have the right of way just because they can swoop around a turn like they own the freakin' road. Oh please. Whatever. I just parked and said f' it. I went into my house, put away all of my groceries and stocked the shelves. My cabinet is now full of groceries. I'm so happy that I won't have to eat canned meat anymore. Yuck!

I really didn't do much today. All I know is that I'm getting pretty tired of spam. I got to find an alternative food to eat. I need more salads. I definitely need to be more productive with my life. I'm finding myself wanting to take naps again. I was a bit productive though. I called my doctor's office to get the last three blood pressure readings that I had when I had visited the doctor. I don't know why this matters since these were all taken when I was sick. I'm currently applying for health insurance and they are asking me all these questions. One of the questions concerns my taking anti-depressant pills. I had stopped taking them for almost two weeks now and I'm mentally well. I told the person interviewing me that when I stopped working, I no longer needed the medication. At times I thought I needed it, when situations like crying while listening to a CD with sad music. Then again, I did that even before I went on the medication. I'm just a sensitive person.

Anyway, I practiced the guitar for a little bit. I'm trying to get callouses on my fingers so that I can get used to playing. I'm currently learning G Major and a minor. Unfortunately, I can only play for so long because my wrist starts to hurt. At least I'm starting to sound a bit better. After that, I went to get ready for choir rehearsal. I left at around 6PM and got to the church early. So, I sat in my car and text messaged a few people. One of them was a friend that I had made through my friend Kelly. When I first met him, I thought it he was okay and a bit dry. Then, I felt bad for him because Kelly ousted him for something that wasn't even his fault. Anyway, it just seems like every time we chat, there's just something about him that makes me feel bored. I talked to him for a while before I rehearsal started.

Choir rehearsal was pretty interesting. There weren't many women as there were when I first came to the rehearsal. They still talked while they were being directed to sing. There was even one point when I was the only one singing because they didn't pay attention. This is something I just got to get used to. The guy who sat next to me swoops up to his note and I just keep noticing it. They don't know when to come in or count beats. Fortunately Angelo the choir director is pretty patient with them. I guess you have to be in a church choir full of older ladies. It seems as if we were a bit more productive this time around though. After rehearsal, a few of the ladies complimented me on my voice and talked about the church choir before now.

I got to my car and went to visit my ex-coworkers. Alvin told me that he had changed his time and that he was leaving a half hour earlier than before. I don't get to talk to them often, so I try visit and take advantage of printing and copying stuff while I'm there. Alvin had pretty much expressed his unhappiness with me. He kept asking me if I was going to continue to do this every week. I felt like I was annoying him. So, I quickly did what I needed to do and left. I kept thinking about how he made me feel and how I must have made him feel. I've started to realize that they've pretty much moved on without me and that it is time that I do the same. Not only that, I know that Alvin has changed a lot working there. That's when I realized that he is going through exactly what I went through. That damn company changes you and turns you into a person that you are not.

I'm pretty thankful that I don't work there anymore. I think about how all those people, my ex-coworkers were the same people who caused all the problems in the first place. They are vindictive, back-stabbing people only looking out for themselves. I realize know that I never fit in there. That's why I was unhappy these past three years. It turned me into someone that I'm not. It turned me into a monster and I treated some people badly who didn't deserve it. It's funny how the drama continues even after I'm gone. The flamboyant drama queen told everyone that I sabotaged the computer system. The person who was absent a lot that wanted me to stay and take the brunt of all the heat. The other one with whom tried so many different ways to make me stay was the same one who was complaining about me in the first place. It's funny how I was not like that. I always tried to create a better working relationship with everyone, but I guess I was the only one. Amongst many, many other things, that was really the last straw. All I know now is that Karma really is a bitch and I don't feel sorry for them at all. They get what they deserve.

I am so happy and thankful now that I am no longer stressed and depressed about that job. That I don't have to worry about all the back-stabbing drama that goes on at that place. All the unnecessary stress that goes on because of the bi-polar leadership that they have there. It not only occurs there, but throughout that company. It seems like it's a requirement. I can only foresee that company go down the toilet a bit. I'm so happy now that I have a social life. I can go out and hang out with friends without being tied down my a job that doesn't take me anywhere. I don't need those damn anti-depressants and I finally have the time to go to the gym and get myself back in shape. I can now focus on me and who I am as a person. I have this time to re-discover my true self and who I really am. I can shed off this disgusting personality that that damn place made me and be my true self.

So to re-iterate, I'm so happy and thankful that I don't work for a place that changes people into someone they are not. It is time that I move on with my life and leave the past behind. Leave it all behind. Let go the people. Let go of the place. Let go of all the evil that it represented and keep moving forward. I am finally happy. Thank God Almighty, I am finally happy. There's no turning back now. My focus is on what I see ahead of me and that is my own happiness. No one else but mine. The only one's that I am taking with me are the friends and family who only want me to be happy. Everyone else can just stay behind and f*ck off. Hasta la vista FedEx.

I'm so proud of myself. I finally got up this morning and went to the gym. I was tossing and turning in bed when I got up at around 5:30AM this morning. I tried to go back to sleep, but I just couldn't do it. I finally just got myself up, brushed my teeth, changed into my gym clothes and drove to the gym this morning. Thankfully it had stopped raining. All I had to do when I get in my car and drive there. I thought I was going to have a problem with parking, but fortunately there were still spaces in the garage before 6:00AM. I went to the front desk to ask about a parking pass and it turns out that my dues were not paid for this month. I guess they couldn't charge it to my credit card. I was about to leave when she gave me a sticker to put in my car after I finished the gym and she let me go in to work out. There were quite a few people in there, but I wasn't surprised. I just went straight to the Elliptical machine and did about a half hours worth of cardio. Thank goodness for my iPod to help me stay motivated.

While I was doing cario, I noticed a guy's butt through the reflection in one of the mirror. I couldn't see his face from the view. After a while, I saw what he looked like when he got off the machine. He was kind of cute. When I was done, I went to go refill my water bottle to stay hydrated. I went to work on my lats and did three sets of 25, then I went to work on my triceps downstairs. As I was working on one of the triceps machine, I noticed this guy checking me out through the mirror while he was doing curls. He was definitely cute. I didn't stare at him though like I usually do. I had one goal in mind and that was to go to the gym regularly and get back into shape. I decided to go home after that. I really didn't want to over do it this time. The one thing that I was glad about was the fact that there weren't too many gym buddies there this morning. There were more people of my size there who were trying to lose weight as well. I went to the locker room and went to change back into my other shoes as the guys around me were getting ready to shower. I really didn't focus on them at all. I just changed and headed out to the car.

I started to notice that my toe was hurting again. I got to remember to put a band-aid on that so that it won't hurt anymore. I wonder if they have anything out there to keep your toes separated and not squished together. I felt good after working out though. I drove back home and was able to park back in my spot in front of the house. I went in to put away my stuff and cooked up some oatmeal for breakfast. I cleaned up the kitchen since I cooked chicken soup last night. I used a lot of utensils, pots, and pans to cook it. I finished my oatmeal with blueberries and took some Centrum vitamins to improve my health. I'm so happy.

This morning I went to my first mass singing with a church choir at the St. Dunstan Church. I was a very involved practicing Catholic before I stopped going due to differences in belief ie. me being gay, so the mass wasn't new to me at all. It was like something that sticks with you and you never forget. It was pretty cool to be singing again. The only thing that was weird was the part of the mass where you are supposed to show each other the sign of peace. The masses that I have worshiped and attended, we shook hands at this point. When this part of the mass came, the people didn't shake hands. The showed the palm of their hands and that was it. It really threw me off because I was like... wtf? Ok. I guess I'm just a weirdo, but whatever. Anyway, the accompanist had a very nice voice. After mass ended, I complimented her on her voice and she complimented on mine even though I felt like I was forcing my voice. I was one of three guys that were there.

After church, I had planned to go hang out with my friend Sunny and Jamie. I didn't get to hang out with them last time since I was attending Tina's Pleasure Party, so I figured since I was already in the peninsula, that I would stop by and visit. It was a pretty cool day hanging out with them since I hadn't had any sort of contact with any friends since the previous weekend. I guess that would make me a loner, huh? Anyway, their puppies were excited to seem and kept coming over to lick my hands. One of the puppies started to hump my leg, but I didn't notice since he's like 95lbs of hugeness. They were watching Jeffrey on Logo and it's been a while since I've seen that show. I went back and forth between rooms since Jamie was in the office on his computer. Sunny was wanting to have Irish Lamb Stew for dinner and it was Jamie's turn to cook. So, he picked out a recipe from the food network website and printed out a recipe. It said that it needed a Dutch oven to cook the stew. Here I was thinking that a Dutch oven was an actual oven, but it turned out that it's like a specialized type of cookware.

We went to Target to purchase a Dutch oven and then to Whole foods to get the ingredients for the stew. There were a lot of cuties at the store. There was this one tall, blond, blue-eyed white guy with glasses who was totally clean cut. He was hot. I kept checking him out whenever he walked by me, but of course he was married. After we got all the ingredients for the stew we headed over to the checkout. As we waited, this really cute guy with glasses and tattoos named TJ invited us over to his register. He reminded me of Milo Ventimiglia from Heroes. Nice, tall, skinny white boy with glasses with black clean cut hair. Jamie couldn't figure out if he was gay or not because he was clean cut, but he had the tattoos all over his arms. I don't have much gaydar, but then again I am attracted to those straight boys.

We headed back to their place where Sunny made sandwiches for lunch. Another movie from Logo was on called the Big Eden. I've always wanted to see it. I recognized one of the main actors, but I couldn't figure out his name. He was cute, but I didn't see the movie from the beginning, so I didn't really know what was going on. I wish we had Logo here at the house, but I don't know. I might have to invest in it in the future. Jamie started to prepare the stew while Sunny cleaned house from all the pet dander from the two puppies that they had shed. There was a weeks worth on the floor. I helped them out by washing and putting away clean dishes. I know they didn't want me to help out, but I wanted to especially since they fed me and were going to feed me more. After the movie was done and Sunny was finished vacuuming, he and I played Scrabble and watched the second disc of Glee. After a while, Sunny's friend (fag hag) Eva, came by to hang out as well. She brought some pies that we ate after for dessert. The stew was pretty good as well as the toasted and sliced french baguette brushed with olive oil and basil. My God it was good.

After dinner, they switched over to see the last few minutes of the Superbowl to find out what the score was and who one so that they would have something to talk about at work tomorrow. Eva changed the channel to some show called "What Not To Wear" and that was pretty interesting. Sunny, Jamie, and I ended up playing this really cool card game called Munchkin(?). It was a pretty cool card game. I was still learning the first game and ended up winning. We played a second game and I lost. It was a pretty fun game though. I didn't realize that it was 9PM when we completed the second game. I knew they had to work the next day and I didn't want to overstay my welcome, so I decided go to and thanked them everything. They enjoyed having me and I had a pretty good time interacting with them. I had some time to get to know them both better and I'm sure they got to know me better.

I finally left the house... woo-hoo! I know that I meant to go to the gym this morning, but of course that failed to happen. I was looking out the window after I had breakfast and noticed that the sun was out. On a whim, I decided to get out. I brushed my teeth, took a quick shower, put on some shorts, a shirt, tennis shoes and headed out the door. I turned on the tunes and listened to my iPod the whole way. I walked all the way down to the south end of Ocean beach to check out the land slide that Will told me about near there. I had no idea that this went on. Go figure. For someone so clueless about the world and local news, fortunately for word of mouth. I took a few pictures of the area. It's amazing how things just seem to change. I guess that' s part of what makes the world go round.

I continued north along the beach walking on the wet sand. I saw several rocks along the way that looked shiny and cool. I ended up picking them up, cleaning them, and putting them in my pocket. The weather was partly cloudy at times, but I didn't mind. I wasn't cold or hot at all. It was a rather nice beautiful stroll after all. I saw a few people jogging or walking while others threw balls with their dogs. It was nice to just stroll along watching the waves topple each other and the birds running away from the tides. By the time I got to the very north end of the beach, I headed up towards the street and headed back home. At this point I started to feel my feet in pain. I figured it was probably due to the fact that I haven't exercised in a million years. Anyway, at this point of the day/walk, I started to notice a few cute guys walking/running by me. Even at one point there was this really adorable cute white dog who stood up to look at me as I passed by. He/she was so cute. Unfortunately, I don't know what kind of dog it is. I'm not well versed about the dog world other than chihuahua's, golden retrievers, and jack russell terriers to name a few.

I started to feel a bit of pain in my calves, so I stopped and stretched them out for a little bit. My feet were also in pain, but I figure its got to be the shoes. They are pretty old, but they are the most comfortable to walk in out of all my shoes. When I got home, I took off my shoes and found that I did end up getting wounded somehow. I did remember thinking that I think I need to cut my toe nails. When I looked at them, they weren't long at all. Other than deformed, I somehow had cut my middle toe with my nail. Hmmm... I wonder if they have anything to keep the toes separated and not smashed together. I must do some research on that. Anyway, I'm not sure if I'm hungry at all, but I probably should snack on something just in case. Until next time.

The last couple of days I've been a complete lazy bum. It brings a new meaning to the word Sloth. I did stop taking naps in the middle of the day. I just need to get my ass out of the house and exercise. My clothes are getting tight on me again and that's not good. I did finally file my taxes on TurboTax.com so that's taken care of. I was planning to go to the gym this morning, but that didn't pan out. I woke up with this huge headache that came out of nowhere. After taking some aspirin, I have been surfing the web browsing through books on learning how to speak Tagalog for when I go to the Philippines in May. I started thinking about choral music and started to browse the net for an all male acapella group called Cantus. They are pretty awesome. I was listening to some of the samples of their music and I started becoming nostalgic of how much I miss music.

I went to choir practice Wednesday and I started to feel like a diva. Not that I meant to, but there was just this certain behavior that I always do when I'm in a choral rehearsal setting. It's so annoying that all the people were talking in the background while rehearsing. Supposedly there are four men in the choir and I'm the latest addition. There is an older guy who looks Filipino who always comes in and sings the soprano part. Not only that, he sings off key. It totally sucks because he totally throws me off and he sits to the left of me which happens to be my good ear. This other guy, who is actually a kid from either high school or college sat to my right side. I think his name is Matt, I can't quite remember. Anyway, he is tone deaf, poor guy. He's a nice guy though. At one point, he asked me which staff we were singing. I helped him by pointing out the bass clef staff. After rehearsal, Angelo told me that this was the first choir that he has conducted that doesn't have much musical training. Question is..... how can we sing four part harmony with 80% Sopranos, 10% Altos, 10% Men? That's definitely a good question.

Right now I'm listening to the Glee soundtrack. There is some really cool music that I like. One of my favorite songs that I keep thinking about is True Colors that they did a version for from Cyndi Lauper. I guess that's my current song for the moment. I wonder what that says about me? There is another song that I really like called Taking Chances. I'm not sure who originally sang it, but I feel that song as well. I wish I knew the words to it so that I can sing along to it better. Which reminds me, I finally got the CD player working in my car and I was able to listen to the songs that I burned onto a CD from Glee. I don't know why it didn't work when Will and I went to Stockton to attend Tina's Passion Party.

I've also been browsing the Barnes and Noble website for cookbooks. Cooking has been something that I've been really into lately ever since I watched Julie & Julia at Dani's house. I want to get an apron and a cookbook since I've been cooking at home staying away from fast food (well for the most part.) Anyway, I saw a cookbook from Rocco Dispirito. He's kind of cute in an off beat way. I had no idea that he was in Dancing with the Stars. Then again, I don't watch cable television since I have all my TV Sitcom DVDs to watch. God, I really need to get a better hobby. Anyway, I really want to start cooking more with vegetables. I just got to find a cookbook with dishes that include vegetables that I would like. That reminds me, I need to send an email to my Aunt Linda. A couple years ago she made some empandas that were so awesome I can't stop thinking about them. I definitely want to make those in the future. I would like to invite some friends over and do a Filipino dinner as a multi-course meal. I think that would be so awesome. It would be Filipino food for the most part, but with a little Americanized twist.

Well, I don't know what else to say now. So I guess I'm done for now. I'll put up a picture of Rocco Dispirito just in case you are like me and have no idea who is who and what is going on in the world. Until next time.