Finding My Soul

I know that I said that I would update this more often, but ever since I came back from my trip, everything has gone a bit wonky. After coming out to my mother the day of my return back to the mainland, I've been trying to recover from the sickness that I had incurred when returning from the Philippines. I spent the next few days after that in Maui sick in bed... well for the most part. As for coming out to my mother, it was.... interesting. She had a pretty expressionless face and basically asked the same question but in several slightly different ways. "So, you want to be a gay? Are you sure you want to be a gay? You really want to be a gay? etc. etc. etc."

When I came back to the mainland, I thought that I was supposed to work the next day. I had called at the Honolulu Airport just to be sure. It was difficult to hear since the reception wasn't all that great at the airport. I called and ended up waiting almost 5 minutes before I called again and finally was able to speak to one of the managers about my schedule. This was during the day on a Thursday. I arrived in Oakland Thursday Night and was picked up by my cousin. We stopped by someplace to eat before finally arriving at our destination. I packed up my stuff and drove back to the City early Friday morning. I figured that if I drove while I still had some energy left, that would enable me to sleep until I was scheduled to work at 3pm that afternoon. I got home ok, slept, then got ready and went to work. It turns out I wasn't scheduled to work till next Friday and Saturday. Which was a bummer because I could have stayed at my grandmothers house and rested. It was okay though because I was able to pick up a shift from one of my co-workers. Things happen for a reason.

On top of that, I was able to go on a date with Alex. He took me to a Filipino restaurant to try some Filipino food that I have never had before, Sisig and Sinigang. That was quite ironic since he's Caucasian and I'm the Filipino. Afterward we went to the Castro Theater to watch The African Queen, which by the way was a pretty good movie. Needless to say, it was a pretty good date. Unfortunately, I relapsed back into my cold for the rest of the week until I was scheduled to work again. I still had a bit of a cough, but it was quite minor in comparison. From this point on I was working quite a bit and my only day off was Thursday. This meant that I had 5 days to do my taxes. Yeah, I know. I am a big procrastinator. My reason for waiting till the last minutes was because I knew that I was paying. I had a bit of trouble trying to do them since I was missing some documents that I needed to determine deductions for some donations I made to the Salvation Army last year. With all this on my mind, I realized that I had to make a decision... I may have to move in with my grandmother.

This kind of got me down for a while, but I did my best to stay positive. It helped having one of my coworkers, Ronaldo lift me up a bit and keep my hopes up. The next day, I worked with him again and he asked me how I was doing. I told him that I'm doing better. I told him that I watched the Secret again and put out a positive attitude to the universe. Michael was there and heard our conversation. The thing about Michael is, above his attractive and manly persona, the guy has a heart. Most people wouldn't know it since he doesn't really show it. I kind of got a glimpse of it though whenever he wouldn't be feeling well. I would ask him how he's feeling and he would tell me. Anyway, after close that night, he drove up in his white Camaro (kind of like a knight riding up on his white stallion) and asked me if I needed a ride home. I thanked him and told him that I drove my car. He acknowledged my appreciation and headed on home. I thought that was the sweetest thing and no one else would really know it but me.

A little fast forward to today's incident. I woke up a bit early today to get a haircut from Jose. We talked a bit about my trip and how things are going with me. Then, I asked him about the proposal and he informed me about what was going on. I really enjoy talking with him. He mentioned wanting to meet Alex sometime. Afterward, I went on to choir practice. It was a small group as usual, but that never stopped anybody. We sang a couple new pieces today. It was pretty fun. After rehearsal, I went into the restroom to do my business. F, this guy that I met there a while back walked in. He was there when I first started in the choir, but then he disappeared. I had a suspicion that he is into me. There was definitely proof of that when he walked up to the stall next to me, whipped out his penis and started to play with it while I was taking care of business. I could see it peripherally, but I didn't out right look over because I didn't want him to think that I was interested in him. I could see it though. It was probably about five or six inches soft. I knew he was trying to get my attention because I could also see him look at me as he was pulling at it. I finished my business and went to wash my hands. I looked into the mirror as I washed my hands, but I could still see him look at me as he was doing what he was doing. I just pretended that I didn't see what he was doing, dried my hands with paper towel and walked out of the restroom.

I rejoined the other choir members and had lunch with them. There was an all meat pizza, vegetarian pizza, three different kinds of salad and cheesecake with all kinds of fruit on it. I stood with Pam for most of the time chatting with her for a bit before I came home. I'm off to run some errands now. Until next time.