Finding My Soul

I forgot to mention that Thomas told me that Billy has been in love with me since I first met him. I had no idea. I don't think he's that into me anymore since he realized how much older I am now since he figured out that I'm friends with his sister. I haven't talked to Billy about it, but I don't think I will bring it up. He's a good kid, but I'm not into him. He's got long hair which is a turn off to me and he's just too young.

Anyway, Thomas and I went to the Castro last night. We downed the remaining jello shots and headed over to the bars. First we went to Trigger, but it was dead. There were a few guys in the front who vocally mentioned that one of us was cute, but I didn't know. We didn't stay long to find out. We headed over to the Q Bar. There was this nice black guy that came out of a taxi cab. Poor guy wasn't having a good night, but he didn't care anyway. He talked with us all the way to Q Bar. Thomas and I got in and we found out that there was $1 fountain drinks. We bought $20 worth of Vodka and Cranberry drinks. There were a lot of cute guys. I met this cute white guy named Tony, but he wasn't into me. He was nice though. There was a friend of his named Mauricio who liked Thomas. Of course, Thomas was making out with him and his cute friend. Tony went to dance with someone else and I was all alone. Again. This is why I hate going to the bars and clubs. It's no fun for me. I just waste money, drink a lot, and get no where. I don't even know why I even try. I've been hungover all day. I am so tired. I am so old. Things need to change. I need to change.